Can I ask "Are you alive?"

In common with many charities we subscribe to an agency search of the Probate Registry. We have received notice from the agent that we are a residual legatee "if husband does not survive her by 30 days". It looks as if the executor is a personal appointment rather than solicitor.

It seems indelicate to enquire wheher the spouse is alive because we have an obvious interest in the answer being no! I don't want to upset anyone, but neither do I want to neglect the charity's interests.

How do others deal with this situation?